


Bisexual? Bisexual.

by sentimental_boy



Series: Eggsy Unwin shorts [5]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:26:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22874728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sentimental_boy/pseuds/sentimental_boy
Summary: “Rox, I’m beginning to think that my attraction to men is societal pressure and nothing more.” You sigh.“Okay, putting aside the fact that we’re not supposed to have relationships at all at Kingsman, what makes you say that?”“First of all, I haven’t had relationships since I started here. I’ve had sex. Dissatisfying sex.”She snorts. “That’s just men. It doesn’t have anything to do with your sexual orientation.”“Oi!” Eggsy gasps as he walks past. “Speak for your own partners.”Roxy raises a brow. “You getting any orgasms from men, Eggsy?”He doesn’t miss a beat. “Sometimes, if you gotta know. The point is: I’ve been giving them to women for years now.”
Relationships: Gary "Eggsy" Unwin/Reader
Series: Eggsy Unwin shorts [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1409980
Comments: 1
Kudos: 30





	Bisexual? Bisexual.

"Rox, I'm beginning to think that my attraction to men is societal pressure and nothing more." You sigh.

"Okay, putting aside the fact that we're not supposed to have relationships at all at Kingsman, what makes you say that?"

"First of all, I haven't had _relationships_ since I started here. I've had sex. Dissatisfying sex."

She snorts. "That's just men. It doesn't have anything to do with your sexual orientation."

"Oi!" Eggsy gasps as he walks past. "Speak for your own partners."

Roxy raises a brow. "You getting any orgasms from men, Eggsy?"

He doesn't miss a beat. "Sometimes, if you gotta know. The _point_ is: I've been giving them to women for years now."

You and Roxy roll your eyes. "Do you think you're the first man we've met who talked like that?" You ask, ignoring the warning bells blaring in your head at having this conversation with Eggsy. You've been pining after him since you started. It's only gotten worse as you worked together and became friends.

He takes that as an invitation to take a seat with you and Roxy. "So, you've never had an orgasm by a man's hand. Neither of you."

"Well, I have a heavy leaning toward women." Roxy shrugs. "But the couple times I've done it with a man, no, he did not satisfy me."

Eggsy turns to you with raised brows. "You neither?"

"I'm the one who started this conversation. No. I had a friend who was explaining that she enjoyed sex even though she never comes either. I guess the difference is that she's in love when she has sex. Anyway, after so many disappointing experiences, I'm getting sick of it fast. I don't experience that carnal _desire_ that others seem to. For the most part, sex, _especially_ with men doesn't appeal to me. So if I'm not getting anything out of it, what's the point?"

"You think you might be asexual?" Eggsy asks, and you can tell he's being genuine about it. You've had a similar conversation once with your childhood friend and once with a man on a date. That one had to get defensive and gross about it. You can tell Eggsy's earlier defensiveness was at least half in jest. And you're surprised to feel at ease having this talk with him.

"I've thought about it. I've never been in love so part of me wonders if I need that emotional connection, but I know myself and as much as I'd like that one day, I don't think I _need_ it. And I can make myself come without a problem." You shrug. You don't want to leave it at that but as you realize that, you also realize that you don't have anything else to say. The silence is starting to get awkward. You don't want to be the gross oversharer. You console yourself with the fact that this was a conversation you were having with your close friend, Roxy when Eggsy gladly pulled up a chair.

"Well, it makes sense that you're getting exhausted with men. I wouldn't want to have sex either if I only got teased every time. So why do you keep doing it?"

"Unrealistic expectations, I guess. Every time, some guy will initiate and I'll go along with it, hoping that this time will be different."

"Shit, mate. Well, let me know if you ever want me to give it a shot." He winks.

"Looks like that's my cue to leave." Roxy stands and sails out of the room without so much as a glance at your pleading eyes not to leave you to your own devices here.

You can see the pieces fitting together in Eggsy's mind as Roxy's shoes tap the wood floor and the door clicks shut. When he turns back to you, he has the dumbest grin on his face. He breathes out your name in surprise but there's still that distinct air of cheekiness that seems to follow him everywhere. "Is there somethin' you'd like to tell me?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Okay, well, I'm gonna explain what I'm talkin' about and if I'm wrong, you can tell me to go to hell and I'll go without another word. I have a feeling, though, that I'm not wrong."

"Alright, fine. Get your supernatural visa ready, though."

He lets out a laugh. "Will do. But before I put it to use, you know what I think? I _think_ that Roxy left the room so fast because she knew that you'd like for me to give it a shot. That when you two get a chance to talk between missions, you've been talkin' about me."

He's still sitting a safe distance away from you, even when he leans forward as he speaks. He's not being overbearing, giving you plenty of room to leave or deny his assessment. But his gaze is another thing. Paired with his all too true words, he may as well back you against the wall and cage you in with his arms on either side of you. You take a breath, steeling yourself, refusing to let him get to you with a couple of well-crafted sentences and that fucking gaze he has fixed on you.

"So what if we have been?"

"So, if you 'ave been, I think I deserve to know what you were sayin' about me. You know, it's not very ladylike to talk about another agent behind their back. We are a team, after all."

You know what he meant but you decide to give him shit anyway. Knock that confidence down a peg or two. So, you raise a brow before you respond. "Not _ladylike_? And you, _a man_ , are trying to tell me that _you're_ the leading authority on what's ladylike?"

Watching his face go from smug and knowing to sheer panic might be the highlight of your day— no, your week.

"Shit, that's not— I was referencing how everything about being a Kingsman comes back to being a gentleman, but you're not a man, obviously." He stumbles through his explanation. "I'm sorry if that sounded patronizing or like every other dick you've heard talk down to you your whole life."

"Awww, Eggsy." You let out a little laugh through your sympathy. "I know what you meant. I was fucking with you."

"Wha— fuck you." He pulls a hand to his heart feigning hurt. "I thought I was actually bein' a dick there for a minute."

"I know. I thought it would be fair to watch you squirm since that's what you've been doing to me since Roxy left."

"Oh, okay. I see how it is."

Eggsy stands and for a moment, you think he's leaving. But before you can remark on how uncharacteristically sensitive he's being, he's sitting next to you, a shoulder and thigh pressed against yours.

"You may have gotten me for a minute there, but until you give me an answer or tell me to stop, I'm not letting this go. What do you get to talking about when my name comes up?"

Your hesitance is telling enough.

"Because I talk to her about you too. If you're saying anythin' like I am, she must be at her wits end with us lot."

You turn to look at him and despite his teasing words, his eyes are sincere. "I guess if I want to find out what sorts of things you've been saying, I have to tell you what I've been saying first."

"I mean, I did ask first."

"Okay, fine. I may have mentioned that I'm attracted to you."

He fist pumps and lets out a rather dramatic "Whoo!"

"Keep it down, will you?" You chide even as you grin.

"And not let you know how happy I am that my attraction to you is mutual? Not a chance."

"Well, that's good to know, at least. It's your turn now. What did you say about me?"

He lets out a breath. "I'm not sure you're ready for it if you're only attracted to me. I mean, lust is one thing, but what I said— what I _feel,_ that's somethin' else."

"I never said that's all it was. In fact, I never said anything about your body or lust. I said that I'm attracted to _you_. Who you are as a person. If we're going to get dramatic, your soul. All this time it's like I've been gravitating toward you like you're pulling me in with that fucking unyielding gaze of yours. Do you know how hard it's been to have you right in front of me all this time, making me want things we're not allowed to have in this organization?"

He lets out a breath in disbelief, gaze fixed on you. "I know _exactly_ what that's like. Fuck, when you showed up here, I thought you were a professional seductress sent to test me."

You snort. "You're hilarious."

"Swear down. In my 'ead, I knew it wasn't true but it kept coming up in my mind. I'd push it away as ridiculous, and paranoid, and _fucking narcissistic_. But there was this incessant voice in my 'ead that kept saying that there was no way the girl of my dreams popped up in front of me like this. That there was something that made us impossible. You hated me, you were a lesbian, a stickler for the rules, _something_. But you kept disproving me at every turn."

"Hate to break it to you, but I didn't step out of your dreams. I've had a life, there's shit you don't know about yet. Before you walked in here, I was grappling with whether I _am_ a lesbian."

He bites his lip and his brows go up as they draw together. "You're not, though?"

The question was so tentative and concerned, his eyes so soft and sincere. It means a lot that he's nervous— presumably because he's so ready to drop it if you tell him you're gay.

You shrug. "I'm figuring it out. I don't want to use you as an experiment— I love our friendship so much— but at this point, I think you're the only man I'd be interested in."

"Wow, I don't know what that says about me, but I don't care if it means I've got any chance with you."

"I don't want to hurt you because I'm still figuring things out."

He shrugs. "I'm willin' to risk it. If it don't work out, I'll find a way to get over it. I don't want to lose you as a friend either."

"Okay." You nod.

"Yeah? We doin' this, for real?"

Instead of answering, you lean in to connect your lips, but he's not expecting it so he doesn't turn to meet you. You realize you miscalculated the trajectory when your lips land on the corner of his mouth. Before you can correct the situation, his hand is in your hair, guiding your head to a better angle so he can get his lips on yours. It's a soft, chaste thing, and before you know it, he's leaning back so he can meet your eyes. "I'm over here." He grins and any loss you felt when he pulled away from the kiss is gone seeing that cheeky smile so close.

You both let out breathy laughs as you hide your face in the crook of his neck. "You sure you want to break Kingsman protocol for someone who can't even aim for your lips?" You sit back from the loose embrace you'd fallen into.

"I'll break any protocol if it means your lips are anywhere on me." He winks. "Anyway, I'll find your lips. Every time if I 'ave to."

—0—

Eggsy was eager to prove his skills, so he swept you away to his place after your conversation. Now you lay fully sated next to him.

"How'd I do?" You can feel his grin against your shoulder as he presses himself to your side.

"What, you couldn't tell?"

"Hey, sometimes women fake orgasms."

"I never have." You shrug.

"Yeah, let 'em know they disappointed you."

"Don't have to tonight. I mean it, Eggsy, that was amazing."

"You weren't half bad yourself. You have no idea how long I was holding off." He kisses the side of your breast. "You're so hot, babe."

You put your arm around him, pulling him closer. "Eh, you're not ugly."

"Not— wow. High praise, that."

"I'm kidding. You're gorgeous, Eggsy, and you know it."

"I like hearin' it from you."

"Good." You lay like that for a minute. Eggsy moves to pillow his head on your chest, but other than that, you stay still, holding him, feeling so lucky that he finally spoke up and nudged you to do the same.

"I can hear you thinkin' up there."

You let out a breath and run your hand through his hair. "I was thinking about how glad I am that you initiated when you did." You pause. "Before, when you first walked in and heard me talking with Roxy, you mentioned in passing that you've been with men."

He shrugs. "Yeah, a few times."

"Have you ever thought of giving up on men or women? Sticking to one or the other?"

"Well, once I realized I was bisexual I figured one day I'd settle down with one person. That don't change my orientation, though."

"Of course not. That's not— I just meant— I don't know."

"Hey, it's okay. I don't mind answerin' genuine questions, especially when they're comin' from you." He strokes your side where his hand has been resting.

You nod, though, you're not sure how much of that he'll get from where he's laying. You bite your lip, thinking about how you were considering that this morning. You're not sure how to explain that to him. Or if you even should.

"Hey." He moves so he's resting his head on his hand, watching you in the low light filtering through the window. "What are you havin' a hard time with here?" His voice isn't accusatory, it's gentle, trying to coax your answer out. He seems more concerned than anything.

"It's not you at all."

"If you say 'it's me' I'm walkin' out of here right now." He says, making it clear he's being dramatic.

"I was going to say that I'm bisexual too but I'm having a very different experience with it right now."

"Yeah, is that what you were talkin' about earlier when you said you might be a lesbian?"

"Well, before you came in when I was talking to Roxy, I was telling her how my attraction to men might be a societal pressure more than anything else. Like, for the most part, men can be pretty from the waist up but cocks don't turn me on. Guys always act like I should be drooling over them, but they don't do it for me. It's a tool, not much else to me. I don't know if that's a normal thing that women feel or if the reason men can never make me come is that I'm not attracted to them."

"Are you telling me you're with me _despite_ my cock?"

"No, that's not— sexuality is a spectrum. I'm thinking I'm like Roxy, how she has a heavy leaning toward women."

He lets out a fond laugh. "I'm kidding." He stretches so he can kiss your forehead before falling back and looking at you. "So, you _seemed_ like you were having a nice time, but did you enjoy what we did tonight? I want you to be honest."

"Yes, I loved it with you. First of all, you not only made an effort, but you actually made me come. No man has ever done that for me before. I also haven't been in love with the other men I've had sex with. So, I might need that. I don't know. This is all so confusing for me right now. _Love,_ sex, my orientation."

Eggsy raises his brows. "You're in love with me?"

"Fuck." You take a breath. "It doesn't have to mean anything if you're not ready for that."

He doesn't say anything, just sits up and moves so he's hovering over you before he leans down for a kiss. It's intimate; there's nothing dirty about it. Only the soft slide of his lips on yours before he pulls back. "I love you so fucking much." He gives you one last kiss before laying on his side, pressed up against you. "Have for a while now. When I thought about us, if we'd ever get together, I was sure I'd be the first to say it. Fuck, you have no idea how many times I had to stop myself from blurting it out since our little talk this afternoon alone. Don't even get me started on the pathetic pining that was happenin' before that. Point is: I didn't want to scare you away."

"Yeah, I always thought it would be harder than it's turning out to be. More tentative and scary, for sure. Could be because I didn't think I had a shot with you. Whenever I imagined this, it was with some mystery person and thinking I'd be settling for second best scared me."

"Wow, we're a couple of idiots meant for each other."

You let out a laugh. "I guess we are, aren't we? I mean, if we're going to be in a serious relationship, at least I don't have to figure out anything that's confusing me right now. I'm bi and I chose you. That's all that matters."

"Guess it is." He takes your hand and brings it to his lips, placing a kiss there. "Hey, you know what this means?"

"What?"

"We can go to pride together."

"Won't most people see us as a couple of Straights?"

"I never took you for one who cares so much about what others think."

You shrug. "I care about what people I respect think. I never want to offend anybody. Maybe it's because I've always identified as bi and I built myself around that and clung to it. I hate the idea of people seeing me as just another straight. Of assuming that I have no knowledge of the struggles that LGBT people face and thus no place in the community."

He nods. "I think that's a struggle that everyone who's attracted to more than one gender has at some point. Especially when you don't have a huge part in the community in the first place. When I was a teenager, I was desperate to have a part of that but there was no way in hell I could come out with my step-dad around. We weren't safe, as it was. Can't imagine adding loving men to that too. But when I was running drugs for Dean, or at night, laying in bed, all I wanted was a ragtag group of queers to runaround with. Thought it would fill some hole inside me, havin' a group of people like me; people who understood. Maybe it would've. But then I came to Kingsman. Yeah, I'm risking my life half the time, but I'm doin' it for a good reason. When I'm not risking life and limb savin' the world, I'm with you, or Rox, or Harry. Who knew that I'd find my band of people like me among you posh wankers?"

"Posh wankers?" You laugh. "I may not be from the estates but I'm not exactly old money, either. I fought my way here fair and square, same as you. You think the Arthur you poisoned was going to take it easy on me?"

He shrugs. "There's a reason we get on so well. But you gotta admit, much as I love 'em, sometimes Rox and Harry can't quite hide their upbringing."

"You think they say the same about us?"

Eggsy thinks for a moment. "I can't see it. It's always seemed like it genuinely don't matter to 'em. It was never that they liked us in spite of where we're from, you know?"

"Yeah, I agree."

"So, pride? I know it's a ways away, but if we can both make it, it would be fun."

"Yeah, sounds good. I've always wanted to go but I haven't had anyone to go with."

"Me too. We can rope in Harry and Roxy too."

"Oh yeah. Sometimes I forget that Harry's gay."

"Yeah, it doesn't come up much when your contract prohibits relationships of any kind."

"Speaking of: how are we going to do this?"

Eggsy shrugs. "We'll keep it on the down-low and if anyone finds out we'll say it's casual."

"That sounds too easy."

"They can't prove we're in love."

"You think a top-secret organization of _spies_ would ever approach us unless they were _sure_? That once they suspected they would tip us off so we can make excuses before they fire us?"

"Guess not, but there's no sense in worryin' about somethin' that 'asn't 'appened yet."

"No, but before we go any further, I need to know that this is worth it for you. I know Kingsman is the best thing that's ever happened to us. If we get kicked out, I don't want you to resent me for it."

"Hey, this is my decision too and I know that. I'm not stupid. I'm putting 'alf my earnings in savings. If all this goes away and I'm around to deal with the fallout, I've got enough to go to school. In the meantime, I can work for a private security company or somethin'. You could do the same."

"You've thought about this a lot, haven't you?"

"Yeah. I told you there was a fair amount of pathetic pining goin' on before. Enough that I thought about the logistics of what would happen if we were to ever get together and then if we were to get caught."

You lean in and kiss him. "You're worth it for me too, you know." You idly run your hand along his chest, feeling too vulnerable to look him in the eyes.

"You know, I was thinking." He glances down at you. "Kingsman _is_ the best thing that's ever happened to me. It gave me a seat at a table I never would've even known about. Gave me a goal to put my strengths toward. Never would've expected a bunch of spies to be where I found a home, but the friends I've made here are nothin' short of that. Even more important, it gave me the means to get my mum and Daisy away from Dean. I'm my own man because of it."

"Shit, I know, Eggsy." Kingsman has been great for you too. You love your job and being a spy is life-changing any way you look at it. But it hasn't been anything like it has been for him. "I'm sorry to be the reason you're putting all that on the line. I would understand if we're too big a risk. I just prefer that you tell me sooner than later."

"Hey." He puts a finger under your chin to get your attention. " _I love you_. I'm going to be with you as long as you'll let me. I was gonna say that even with everything that Kingsman has given me, it's nothin' compared to how I'm feelin' right now, with you in my arms."


End file.
